Savings please?

"Hi, want a piece of my heart with that?"

I was just rudely interupted by my computer while playing the sims, to instal some stupid updates. Without saving,because I had NO idea it was going to do that, all my progress was lost, and it was getting really good. Stupid Windows Vista, I really am going to start saving for a Mac to see if it's as good as my ex says they are. My third shift at work is tomorrow, or should I say in about 13 hours..(It's 3:54am). I like it, well sort of.. I had a moment of laziness today and got the biggest urge to not go in, and it was only my second shift, that's pretty bad on my part I'd say. A friend of mine is in a hizzy, she did something she regrets and of coarse this regret was because of alcohol, unfortunatlely. As much as I love her, she shouldn't drink... I'm planning on getting my hair done before school starts, but what nobody really understands is that my hair is really "different", you could say... so it's so hard to choose a style I like, but when I do, I promise to put a picture or two up. Of coarse,I'm lonely as can be these past couple of days and it's really taking a toll on me, and putting me in a rotten mood but it's kind of a good thing because there's nobody to take the rotten mood out on. I miss my bestfriend(the one in France) like no tomorrow, there's so much I have to tell her but I have to wait for her to arrive at her host family, you see... she's been at this boarding school learning the ropes for the past week and a half or so, and then she's going to her actual place, where she can proceed to give everyone who cares her adress so we can harass her with mail and whatnot. She ditched a call to her family to call me and I feel pretty special about that, although it was through skype and the call failed halfway through,it was nice to hear a familiar voice. School starts on Tuesday, and I'm kind of dreading it, but then again I want it to start just so I can get some socializing into my schedual and meet some new people... Hopefully somebody will catch my eye.. girl or boy anybody who's cool and can provide good conversation would be awsome. I'm kind of bumed my ex isn't returning and same with my bestfriend(Ryan), which leaves me with pretty much nobody except with two good friends and some aquaintences I've made over the last four years.. I don't hangout with my old friends anymore because we've drifted pretty far apart in the past couple years, but of coarse I'll never forget them, because with them, I've had some of the best times in my young life and I'll always owe them that,I've learned so much about myself and about life from some of those people that I can't just let go like that. Another thing I've noticed quite a bit is that I've just been so scared lately... not the "BOO!" scared, but the kind of scaredness that just sits there in the pit of your stomach and eats at you when you want to do something out of the ordinary(spellcheck?). I feel like I've just been holding back words and emotions so much that it's starting to annoy me and build-up and not to mention another thing I'm scared about is that it will all just blow soon, every little thing and hopefully it won't, but if it does I already have someone in mind that could use a few harsh words, although the minute after it all happens I'll regret it cause I know he'll never speak to me again, HAH...I know I shouldn't care and it wouldn't harm to not talk to him for a little bit, but knowing that he won't want to talk to me again will hurt me just a little bit....so in conclusion...I'm saving for a Mac(woo!),I'm lonely(nothing new),I'm excited(in a way),I'm scared(of everything) and I'm anxious for change(that never seems to come).


Sorry for all the uneeded details..I had to release some of my thoughts somewhere, and where else would be the best place?not like anybody reads this anyways.
-Malika