I got a tumblr.

"I don't like this feeling"

I swear I won't stop writing in this, it will be a year of on the 29th, although I just spent two hours on Tmblr looking at people's stuff,creeping I suppose the word's called.
This week went by so fast, which is good! I get the day off at school today and same with work, but I have to work all weekend, which isn't too bad because I need the cash to buy this really awesome jacket and an American Aperal sweater,since it's actually starting to feel like fall outside. I bought a new beanie not long ago too,I just need to get a new scarf and some cute mittens. I don't like this cold though, it feels like the winters going to be a bitch, and I don't like how there's not much of a spring/summer here, I wish I could live somewhere where it's nice all year round but then I'd probably get annoyed with that too..sometimes there's just no winning with me haha.
I'm going to Ryan's today, it's wierd I have such a hard time between saying my bestfriend's or boyfriend's to certain people because I'm not sure what their reaction would be, so far I've gotten, "Who's you're boyfriend?" or it's "You guys finally decided?". In a way I get this defeated feeling when some people say, "Finally". I can't really explain it but it's just, why does it matter? unlike some people we took our time to get to know eachother as friends and then after we cleared all the bullshit out of the way that was always stopping us, we made it official. I don't know why I constantly have the feeling of defeat though, maybe the way it happened or how I finally realized that he really was one of the few people I truely care about, it's just.. I was so happy with the fact that I was finally able to say, "Yeah,I'm single but fuck relationships". Not that I don't want one with him, but it just felt good to be happy without someone, I was getting back to my old self again,how I was like back in, January. Just floating along with no cares but for my friends and school. But I knew that if I didn't take this chance by the hand I'd never have another like it.
PS-If you happen to read this, don't worry kay?
-Malika