Missed chances..

"Hey!"

When I was out earlier today, I saw a friend I was getting sort of close to when my boyfriend and I were taking some time for ourselves. This said friend had told me he liked me as more than just a friend and instead of being thrilled I was horrified. I ran in the opposite direction, told him I would get to know him.. two days later I ended up getting back with Ryan. I explained it to him and now we briefly talk, which sucks because he really is a great guy. Well, when I saw him today a wave of feelings came over me.It made me realize I'm probably missing out on something good or something that could have been awesome, but you see... I wasn't in the right state of mind to be getting to know someone new in a romantic way, I was still torn up about what happened between Ryan and I. And the thing is, I know it could have turned into something with Matt, but I know for a fact I'd just be comparing it with whatever Ryan and I had, constantly. I know he'd be all I'd think about, and I didn't want to be that girl...being with someone just because I can't be with the person I truly want.

I don't know tonight was kinda strange.